"A woman bought a tin of fruit but she could not open the tin she did not know how to open it, so she rushed to her study to look in a cookbook. By the time she looked in the book and found the page and reference, and came rushing back ready to open the tin, the servant had already opened it.
She asked, "But how did you do it?"
The servant said, Madam, when you can't read, you have to use your mind."
Osho
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"Having looked the beast in the eye,
Having asked and received forgiveness,
Let us shut the door on the past, not forget it,
but to allow it not to imprison us."
-Arch Bishop Tutu

Movie: 'Red Dust really good!!!!

The fairies of my childish days are always there.
Sometimes they hide,
While I count and try to find them,
But sooner or later I see their cheeky faces hiding,
And I can't help but smile.

It is my constant game of hide and seek
With the fairies,
It is our game, which taught me,
To always stay strong,
And believe in good times to come.

While they hide,
I can hear them whispering to me:
“Hold hope of light through dark
And remember the warmth through cold,
Hold your smile even through tears,
And you will always find happiness.”

So Everyday, with the fairies' whispers,
I learnt to believe in what was myself,
and love the world i was born into.
And now everyday I look to the sky above us,
I see the sun and the clouds.
And Some days I watch raindrops fall,
Then the wind comes along,
He blows them onto my window,
and I can see them run down the glass pane,
Playing chasings with the wind,
running never looking back,
always looking forward.

Every night I catch a glimpse of the beauty
Held in the moon and the stars resting on their bed above,
Shining their little lights down on earth.
And amongst the many stars I found one so special,
With its own beautiful light,
It was like no other I could see in the sky.

Then one night a dream came to me,
and i could see the fairies pointing to the star,
which i had seen in the sky.
It was hidden beneath abandoned rubble...
The fairies placed it in my hands,
And the star began to glow and shine,
It was then my happiness felt freed
Unlocked...
From then on,
I could always see that light...
That gift from the fairie...

... My beautiful star on earth.

-Jayd

wikid, its like may. May is nice month, has a nice name i think. Anyways time is flyingahhhhhh and i can say that i'm coming back to tas next month, and i'm well fuckin up for it. Its gonna be the next adventure in the life of jayd hehe. Well i like to think of it as an adventure, fun, won't be with family, its my desicion, i'm doing what i want for once instead of what my parents want, i'll get to see the people i love and miss again, and a place, despite it being a hole in the earth, i still miss it very much hehe. Its all sunny here too, nice weather, after a long winter its quite refreashing! but winter was wikid too, love winter and autumn. anyways nuff from this mad cow, as ma nigga bitch over in britain would say hehe, its true i am mad cow, aparently i'm an evil milky bar too for leaving her here, (fuckin racist black bitch) hehe haha nah love her really n we always joke about the whole black and white thing, i'm not racist or anything hahaha, Ammsies, well she's just ma black sista on the otha side yo, and i will miss her if anyone here. So to conclude this pointless journal enterrryyyy, i'll say seeya lata and have a goodday. love from jayd hehe take care people.

hehe i've been thinking about religion.Thinking about why i don't like it. Well its not so much the belief, its the lifestyle associated with each belief, actually what i mean is the restrictions on their lifestyle. I mean things people HAVE to do, like pray or go to church every sunday, not monday or tuesday or god forbid even a friday, but a sunday. Or you have to suddenly worship 'god' physically five or sixx times a day. Sacraficing time out of your precious life praying to somehting which no more governs you than you govern yourself. I came to make sense of it all. In my own light and my own piece of mind i came to understand and comprehend what i felt god was, and how i should 'deal' with the concept of god or how any one person can really communicate with god. I refuse to referr to god as a lord, or a higher being, or a he over a she, or a she over a he. God is just god, god is the universe, god is energy, god is the food you eat, the water you drink, chair you sit in. I am a piece of god, you are a piece of god. In my eyes that is god.

The reason i think christians referr to god as a he or an actual separate being higher than man is because they don't want acknowledge that there is something, more wonderous than a being, a personalityor a ruler. They worship 'the lord' why do they worship 'the lord'? what makes god a he? where did they pull that from, and why should you waste energy in worshipping something that does not ask to be worshipped? Hiumans, are so wrapped up in fear, fear of the unknown that they have to make something false to make things seem better. No one wants to know more than beyond their shelll. No one wants to admit they know fuck all about what life is. Life isn't anything to do with society, money possesions. Life is only made that way to cover up the truth. But i refuse to just get covered up in my little blanket and hide from this earth, this whole universe. I know nothing about why i'm on earth, or why earth spins, or where the end of universe is, or whether its doesn't, or why the stars shine in the sky, everynight, but aye, but all i can say i know what i have to know to be able to live in the this lie that is society i guess its some sort of start.
I may not know, but i can always believe, always hold hope and always have faith in everything i do. I've come to discover that belief is your power, and in life you learn to use it. and if you don't, anothers belief or will can take you over or influence you into living a life that isn't yours.....mmmm i'm tired and i have so much to spill out of me that i've lost track. infact i bet no one can make sense of all this but maybe someone did haha
Anyways earth is a spirt, and we're all a piece of it, the whole universe and beyond that is just a big mass of energy, a spirit. Thats what i believe. so there....one day when i've come across something else, that might change that i'll write it all down. no doubt it will though my mind has too much crazy stuff up here lol i love being mad, because if i wasn't i would get really really bored. haha i love all the people i love, and they make my life better too.
And my initials spell joy, heh though i figured that out when i was like 10 or somthing, so its nothing new really. But thats kind of cool, that my initials actually spell a real name. Maybe because i laugh at everything, lol maybe thats why it spells joy